well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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