you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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