dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize