Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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