Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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