don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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