OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think i peed on brittanys purse
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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