Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize