Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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