K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
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and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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