If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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