I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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