we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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