I feel like abortions should bother me more
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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