just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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