I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize