it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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