Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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