Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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