They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize