Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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