GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize