maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
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I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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