Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize