Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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