I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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