It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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