I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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