Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize