you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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