Porn is love you can see.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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