this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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