go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize