I wish i was in the wii world.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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