My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize