wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Text me some of your sweat
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