i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize