she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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