you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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