i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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