That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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