Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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