im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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