My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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