I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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