he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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