I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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