i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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