Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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