I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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